I emerged from an apostasy in July. Like finally breaking the surface of an eternal lake and sucking in the sweet rescuing air or emerging from a dark, abysmal cave and feeling the reassuring warmth of the sun on your face. It was a very powerful, and moving experience, realizing after almost a year and a half that the emptiness of my life was all self inflicted and I'd had the remedy right in front of my face, I'd just been too...stubborn... to accept it. Too prideful to admit my mistakes. The warm, happy feelings, the recognition of the spirit and the loving atmosphere of church was so resplendent! It was truly incredible to me how one simple, generic, and insignificant sacrament meeting could be suck a beautiful and welcome slap in the face. My priorities shifted.
The foundations of the plans I had made, and been set on suddenly crumbled into nothing but meaningless piles of dust and new, sturdy foundations were forged. College went from the limelight in my head to nothing but an old whim. My plans for a mission which I had shot down we reformed and sealed in my heart.
Several months later the vigor remained, as did my determination for activity in the church and a mission. I loved church and eagerly looked forwards to the renewing spirit that seemed to always accompany the sacrament. I tied up loose ends and fixed the things which were broken or in disrepair. My testimony was fully and finally my own and not the shadow of an other's that I carried. It was my own knowledge Which I now bear monthly. I have been interviewed by both Bishop and Stake President and found worthy by both for the Melchizedek Priesthood and On Sunday November 1st after what seemed an eternity I was ordained by my father to the office of Elder.
Nov 1st 2009 has easily been one of the most spiritual days in my life, if not THE most spiritual. It was a wonderful day from start to finish. It began a bit strangely my dad woke me up at 10:30 and told me he was heading to the church. I hurried and jumped up and grabbed my clothes and headed to the bathroom to shower. Just before I got into the shower I looked at my phone's clock (which I had changed the night before to compensate for Daylight Savings time) I couldn't help but laugh at myself because it was only 9:30 and I still had an hour and a half before church and didn't need to hurry at all. I stopped panicking about getting to church on time and got ready like normal, I shaved, showered, and got dressed.
The week before (when I was presented to the congregation) I was told by the Stake President that I needed to begin attending Elders Quorum the following week. So once my father had returned from his meeting at the church and we both had some down time we got in the ever-awesome minivan and went to church. Opening exercises was pretty average, but everyone seemed to be in a good mood (At least they did to me) Immediately afterwards my first experience with Elders Quorum began, it was great. The spirit and discussion amongst the quorum members was so much better than Priest's Quorum had ever been, to me it was incredible discussing Elder Jeffery R. Holland's Easter address. It was a very meaningful address about the Savior's lonely and personal suffering for each and every person. It was....Powerful.
After Priesthood, I found my father, who had a migraine, so I ran him home during Sunday School only to find my sister and her husband preparing rolls for our family dinner later. My father and I returned to the church about 20 minutes before sacrament meeting to save room for all of the family and friends I had coming to support me (I don't me this to sound cocky) We arrived just in time to see Katie and her mother walk into the church :) we followed them in. My mother had also arrived with my step-father Dave. After a bit of light chatting I went and helped finish the preparation of the sacrament (My last time as an Aaronic Priesthood holder) I then prepared to bless with Brytt. The sacrament went well (other than my messing up the blessing on the water) and so I went and sat next to my father and brother-in-law Logan. It was fast and testimony meeting (how fortunate for me) I decided to bear mine and so after the first lady finished I went up and proceeded to bear mine. I cried (no surprise) and from that moment on it seemed like the spirit didn't leave me for the rest of the day. I sat next to my mom when I sat down and later Katie. Towards the end of the meeting my father stood up and bore his testimony, which was very powerful and personal to me. It touched me greatly, again opening the floodgates of my eyes.
Later after more emotional, and spiritual feelings sacrament meeting was over and it was time to be ordained, For several hectic minutes we were ushering people into the High Council room. A lot more people ended up in the room than I had anticipated. It was pretty intimidating standing in front of all of those people. They all just glanced around at each other, waiting for the Stake President to begin the "meeting". Finally after the bishopric had all been rounded up he explained the situation, and then called up close family (grandparents, Brothers-in-law, Father, etc...) for the actually ordination/ blessing. I was ordained by my father who did a wonderful job, the spirit was incredibly strong and I could feel it fill the room, and surround me. The feeling was so overwhelming that I again began to cry. After it was over the Stake President asked me to "say something" At first I probably looked like a deer in the headlights, but managed to get a few words of thanks out through my salty tears and blubbering. Then began the laborious, but enjoyable process of giving everyone a hug in the room and listening to their congratulations. The tears continued to roll until I had hugged just about everyone. and even then I was rather shaky with all of the emotion.
Then My mother insisted that a photo shoot was necessary and she quickly lassoed everyone together and began snapping away with her camera, "documenting the occasion" (I most likely will never see said documentation). Then she hugged me, said goodbye, and was on her way home to the big CO. :(
Katie, Brad, Rochelle, Russel, Marlene, and all of my aunts and uncle had already left at this point. I had such speedy endings to rendezvous.
Family dinner was spectacular. The devil was gone, the family was very "together" mentally, spiritually, etc... It felt like I was home again. (a big deal we can talk about...not here.). We ate our family classic (Swiss chicken, mashed potatoes, rolls, green bean casserole, and cheese cake for dessert :)). After we watched home movies and laughed at ourselves, and how much we'd changed, then we did our own parody of us eighteen years later. It was a lot of fun. Then Corrie and Daniel left, and things slowed way down. Then we did blessings.
First I was taught how to consecrate oil by my father and Logan. It was pretty cool, learning and being able to use the new Priesthood I'd just received. Then we began to do blessings after I had asked every question I could think of in my trepidatious state. I was nervous, It was a big deal to me and I was very afraid I would mess up. finally after much worry I dove in and gave my first blessing to my father. It seemed like as soon as I started I was hit with the spirit again and I began to cry... again. But I could feel things so well it truly was breathtaking how absolutely I knew what to say, I daresay that at this point of my life that is the most fully I have ever felt the spirit. When The blessing was finished I was in tears (of course) as was my father (A very rare thing for him). It was very moving. I then proceeded to give one to my sister, then Logan (Both equally emotional) and then to my Nieces. It was so much fun, and so spiritual at the same time. I absolutely loved it, and I will treasure that day for ever.....
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Semi-Charmed Life
Wow, returning to the land of Shotguns and Battle Axes after over a year-long hiatus is almost as bad as watching family home videos from eighteen years again: Everything is extremely out-dated and you can laugh at how ridiculously moronic you sounded way back when.
I'll address the latter concern first...
Sorry for all of my melodramatic and overly whiney posts. Now we can move on to the updating.
Well high school's over (you completely missed my entire senior year) so I'll run through that as quickly as I can...
Emily and I broke up. Hooked up with Kayla (whom I dated for 11.5 months) Which is also over.
I was My Senior Class V.P. That was a very incorporating experience, I felt very important and neeeded. Now 5 months post graduation I realize how much high school affects nothing whatsoever. Ha.
I had been completely ready to go with Southern Utah University (enrolled, classes picks, housing reserved, etc...) as I had put the mission (and the church in general) out of my mind as an unimportant, and unnecessary burden. About two weeks before I was set to attend college (about a month after I was back in Utah) I decided the mission took priority over education. So I cancelled.
Now I work two jobs (Dave's Health and Nutrition and Netgear Computer Networking) saving up for the mission. You're basically caught up now.
(sorry for all of the Parenthesis)
(and again)
I'll address the latter concern first...
Sorry for all of my melodramatic and overly whiney posts. Now we can move on to the updating.
Well high school's over (you completely missed my entire senior year) so I'll run through that as quickly as I can...
Emily and I broke up. Hooked up with Kayla (whom I dated for 11.5 months) Which is also over.
I was My Senior Class V.P. That was a very incorporating experience, I felt very important and neeeded. Now 5 months post graduation I realize how much high school affects nothing whatsoever. Ha.
I had been completely ready to go with Southern Utah University (enrolled, classes picks, housing reserved, etc...) as I had put the mission (and the church in general) out of my mind as an unimportant, and unnecessary burden. About two weeks before I was set to attend college (about a month after I was back in Utah) I decided the mission took priority over education. So I cancelled.
Now I work two jobs (Dave's Health and Nutrition and Netgear Computer Networking) saving up for the mission. You're basically caught up now.
(sorry for all of the Parenthesis)
(and again)
Saturday, August 9, 2008
It's Been A While....
So.... Summer's practically over, but a great summer it's been.
Utah, Cali, Utah again, Idaho, Colorado. yeah, I made the rounds.
Keeping busy was nice, it made it more fun, obviously, it also made everything fly by....
Now I'm doing pre - school stuff, senate mostly. We had our retreat last week which was amazingly fun!
Now my friend laura and I are in charge of organizing the first day barbecue. if you want to read more about it you can visit our new senate website (or blog) which I am in charge or maintaining, there's a link on here....
and yeah....that's the very small summary of life right now. :)
Utah, Cali, Utah again, Idaho, Colorado. yeah, I made the rounds.
Keeping busy was nice, it made it more fun, obviously, it also made everything fly by....
Now I'm doing pre - school stuff, senate mostly. We had our retreat last week which was amazingly fun!
Now my friend laura and I are in charge of organizing the first day barbecue. if you want to read more about it you can visit our new senate website (or blog) which I am in charge or maintaining, there's a link on here....
and yeah....that's the very small summary of life right now. :)
Monday, May 19, 2008
Boom!
Well This school year is wrapping up pretty quickly now. It seems like it zoomed by.
All of the seniors have been gone for about 2 weeks and graduated for about 1. Now the young ones (me included) get to finish up the year.
Sigh.
It's actually really boring and stressful at the same time. Finals are coming up so reviews and studying plague the important classes. yet nothingness has infected the less academic ones. For instance we played guitar hero in choir today. hmmm . . .complaining? I think not.
Anyways the Summer fever, of antsiness, severe boredom, and a strange longing to be out in the scorching sun has taken the school by storm.
Three more oppressive, nazi controlled days of suffering before that beloved three month break that will steal our knowlege and increase our morale!
Hoorah!
5 days until Utah.
double hoorah!
about 7 til Cali.
triple crowned hoorah!
All of the seniors have been gone for about 2 weeks and graduated for about 1. Now the young ones (me included) get to finish up the year.
Sigh.
It's actually really boring and stressful at the same time. Finals are coming up so reviews and studying plague the important classes. yet nothingness has infected the less academic ones. For instance we played guitar hero in choir today. hmmm . . .complaining? I think not.
Anyways the Summer fever, of antsiness, severe boredom, and a strange longing to be out in the scorching sun has taken the school by storm.
Three more oppressive, nazi controlled days of suffering before that beloved three month break that will steal our knowlege and increase our morale!
Hoorah!
5 days until Utah.
double hoorah!
about 7 til Cali.
triple crowned hoorah!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
the Fantasy
Prom. It was great. (it was last night)
Like seriously a super great time. I'm even going to post some pictures of me and you guys' first look at emily :D
Anyways it was great but I don't feel like detailing right now. Ask me about it I'll tell you later.
Pictures:
![Photobucket](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_vIOvHJPiP4Vef9v7EM53kRaBeDdQSdkOmno8domPH4FYwAUveLMjQoSTT7ozIsh7-I8bbYlOmXkbCvTeFcR13pDWxcne7PzTl8HjqxzJKKYSDIAfkWfavvopv4=s0-d)
(Just me)
![Photobucket](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_t2YBWWqV6sacyjk3mAN6eULIkW1q6L-r2_FK-lqTsveoumCCaLpFLq0i3XKh4TBsvczgOTM1tbnWz0SNyRkD5I4qMJqA7WoONl5HhdNbon7XCU0w1hriZO9qXKgk_V=s0-d)
(both of us [Emily on the left])
![Photobucket](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_sBOK-lLuKykMTHziF5gT1-8fGvghs93udT9HViJHYYZXvmLM7T_jU1mDBBgYBpCDuzlLYTRmMLYTpx_RlMqvfoXheYtctBboJ5qRJ9hA37XZcYvZbW9d6X08Q5DFE2xA=s0-d)
(both again[Emily on the left again too])
Like seriously a super great time. I'm even going to post some pictures of me and you guys' first look at emily :D
Anyways it was great but I don't feel like detailing right now. Ask me about it I'll tell you later.
Pictures:
(Just me)
(both of us [Emily on the left])
(both again[Emily on the left again too])
Monday, April 7, 2008
Where is My Mind.
I got a Cell phone! So now you can do all the texting and all the other stuff at me you want!
My number is 970-270-5996
So that is swell you should hook me up with your number's cuz I had a tendancy to lose them!
I watched Donnie Darko this week . . .twice (don't ask)
I really like that movie.
A Lot!
:)
My number is 970-270-5996
So that is swell you should hook me up with your number's cuz I had a tendancy to lose them!
I watched Donnie Darko this week . . .twice (don't ask)
I really like that movie.
A Lot!
:)
Friday, April 4, 2008
Conversations
I think I have figured out what it all is. . . .
(I know I know I babble on here a lot and I apologize, someday I will have interesting things to write for you to read)
Since coming to Colorado I haven't really had a chance to actually talk to anyone. Like no deep conversations or soul-bearing whatevers.
I think it is building up.
I think that is what is causing all of my problemos lately.
Which is great, that I know and all, but now I just don't have anyone that I can actuallyt do that with.
No one here fits the bill, everyone here is biased against me.
Like if I had a small problem with someone there is no one to empathize with me, they would all take the side of the person and go all defensive and It just wouldn't be good. . .
I need a therapist.
![Photobucket](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_ufqZueEafidDkdR6-1yi9IYGYg7BRuganrFxsUnLCMCrQJasnzLwURkBA3bsPu3CPmmOFjerIFCjUFPV1IDT0wgeKhUIJANBa3SHqs99tKH0p18IQXrFvY29kzbUgQt3sc-kk=s0-d)
^----That is me about to explode . . .
(I know I know I babble on here a lot and I apologize, someday I will have interesting things to write for you to read)
Since coming to Colorado I haven't really had a chance to actually talk to anyone. Like no deep conversations or soul-bearing whatevers.
I think it is building up.
I think that is what is causing all of my problemos lately.
Which is great, that I know and all, but now I just don't have anyone that I can actuallyt do that with.
No one here fits the bill, everyone here is biased against me.
Like if I had a small problem with someone there is no one to empathize with me, they would all take the side of the person and go all defensive and It just wouldn't be good. . .
I need a therapist.
^----That is me about to explode . . .
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